I have started traveling on business for Microsoft. Travel has become a lot stranger since my time as Zorro in colonial California. Remember, I rode around on a horse in a mask, cape and carrying a sword. So, things getting stranger is quite an accomplishment.

 

My psychiatrist suggested that I start practicing Buddhism. It should help with the impluses to carve a Z on people's bottoms. Buddhist monks are vegetarians, but the rule for the laity is more lax. It seems that we can eat meat as long as the "food" was not specifically killed for us. This means no lobster right from the tank, for example.

 

Some weird non-violence thing happened when I was in Hong Kong. Some colleagues took me to a restaurant in Hong Kong and ordered dishes for the table. One of the dishes was "fresh fish." I wondered how fresh. If the fish is alive, I cannot eat it. I did not tell this to my colleagues. It would kind of diminish the fear of Zorro.

 

I asked if the fish is alive and the waiter disappeared. He returned about two minutes later with a big fish in a plastic bag. The fish is not moving. So, I asked again "Is it alive." I just wanted to know. If it is, I hoped the will fish just pass away painlessly in the kitchen. The waiter started shouting "Move Fish! Fish Move!" and started shaking the bag. The fish move a bit. The waiter then slamed the fish down on the floor and started kicking it. "Move Fish! Fish Move!" Finally, the fish moved to the waiter's satisfaction.

 

My colleagues looked at me like I am some kind of crazy man. I guess the legend grows.

 

I started thinking about this incident from the fish's perspective. It probably went something like this

 

"No, don't pick me from the tank. ... Oh well, I had a good life. Where is he taking me? The pot is the other way. Wow, look at all these people. Look, there's a Buddhist at the table. I AM SAVED! Hey wait. Ow. No, stop doing that. Ow! ..."

 

I cannot even begin to imagine the negative karma I earned that night.